Food for Thought

May 16, 2020

I like things that make life more awesome. The below are my "life hacks" for awesomeness.  These are things I strive for, knowing that I will not achieve perfection, but that my striving will point me in the right direction.

Most of these are taken directly fr...

May 13, 2020

My lover likes to change her clothes

Sometimes a dark evening gown

Other times, a frumpy sweater

Somehow, always more beautiful

Sometimes she wears a disguise

But she cannot hide for long

I know my love

Sometimes she wears blond hair

Other times brunette

Then black like silk

The...

May 24, 2019

I have been leading men's groups for over 10 years in many different formats and communities. I can tell you that there is no "right" way to do a men's group but there are a few tips that I think can be applied to most any group to help it be as amazing as it can be.

If...

March 22, 2019

What motivates you to excel at your job? What motivates you to pursue someone you are attracted to? What motivates you to workout and care for your body?

There is a lot of talk about what you should do and most guys I talk to have a pretty good idea of what they should...

July 27, 2018

People have asked me for a therapist referral and when I asked them what kind of therapy they want, it's obvious they are actually looking for a life coach.  Other times, I have had people reach out for coaching, when it's clear they need a therapist. 

General...

June 26, 2018

Beautiful women used to drive me crazy.  I would see an attractive woman and instead of being filled with joy,  I would begin to strategize how I might talk to her, or whether I should talk to her. I would question whether or not I deserved to talk to such a beautiful...

April 3, 2018

It's not about consent... It's about mind-blowing love.

Pleasure requires relaxation, and relaxation requires safety. If my lover does not feel safe, she cannot relax, so she will not be able to feel her desire or her pleasure. The same goes for me: if I don't feel safe...

April 3, 2018

"If you are pretty you are not smart."

"If you are beautiful, you are not tough."

These were the phrases that popped into my head while trying to figure out what felt so vulnerable about this photo of me.  There is a certain softness about the photo, an almost feminine q...

March 27, 2018

The #metoo movement has made clear what many of us have known for a while: there is a problem with the culture of masculinity.  In the past, it was debatable, it was ignorable.  It can no longer be ignored and there is very little real debate about whether or not the t...

February 24, 2018

We are men who are not ashamed of our masculinity
We are men who are willing to look at our faults and our demons
We are men who see that we were raised in a culture of disconnection & abuse
We are men who see that the misogyny and homophobia in our culture hurts other...

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